Homesick ….
When my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the rock that is higher than I ~ Psalm 61:2
I wanted to document this journey Mike & I are on obviously for ourselves, for memories. After seeing so many other people sharing the same dreams and goals (On All About Italy FB page) I think it’s very informative and insightful to share for everyone. The good, bad and ugly.
There are going to be good days and then the not so good days. I don’t want to mislead anyone thinking this is all just a lovely bunch of coconuts… Yesterday, was one of those days. I’m actually proud of myself it took 8 days for all the emotions to hit hard. I think I’m definitely overwhelmed and homesick. I am the mother of 4 (grown kids now) but, they will always will be my babies. My oldest son is 25, daughter 24 and twin daughters 18 almost 19. Our family (myself and all 4 of my children) have a rare vascular disease – TOS. Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. It requires extensive vascular surgery and it’s quite painful and debilitating. When diagnosed early, and the nerves have not been severely compressed for years, the long term prognosis of living pain free days is so much better. My youngest, my daughter Brett goes in for 4-5 hour full decompression surgery today in Boston at Mass General. This is her 3rd major surgery. This will be the overall 15th TOS surgery for our family. I have never not been by my children’s side both in the hospital and post op. Brett got her surgery date after our trip was planned and there was a likely situation it could be canceled due to covid. We had to make the decision, Brett did …to go ahead with the surgery without me being there. It’s heavy on my mind, heart and soul. I’ve endured these surgeries and it’s quite brutal especially post op. If you could lift her in prayer today for comfort and healing. Pray for her and her specialist Dr. Dean Donahue at MGH. He’s the very best and I trust all of my children in his extremely specialized skilled hands.
I know this is why my heart feels so heavy. Everything yesterday was upsetting me and I started that feeling of what have we done…why are we 5000 miles away. We are still dealing with major plumbing issues and electric. The attorney we used offered advice and we have a licensed plumber coming on Friday. Luckily our very friendly neighbor, Giovanni was home yesterday when Mike went to ask for a recommendation. He knew a plumber and said he doesn’t speak English, but offered to accompany him on Friday. That’s amazing!
Back home, my brother is very ill. He has a lot of complicated health issues, my God father is awaiting further cancer treatment options (so my mom is a mess over her baby brother). My best friend Kim (and family) are still grieving the loss of her 22 year old son Christopher who passed in November…. it’s hard worrying about your loved ones so far away and a 6 hr time zone difference. It just makes all the little things seem so much larger, but then puts your little things back in proper perspective.
We are all carrying our crosses and we all have been pushing through a relentless year of setbacks and hardships. Life can be so wonderful and so difficult at the same time. As my mom reminds me “just keep floating. Just stay in the boat” … I’m floating mom. Barely but floating. I hope you’re too. I will share more, right now I need to focus on my baby. I will share what brought us here and the entire journey thus far.
Have a blessed day!
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