Motherhood, the most amazing role of one’s life. To bring a child into this world is truly a miracle. The role that showers you with endless love, laughter & joy. It‘s also the most absolute difficult role of a lifetime. One that carries with it the most tremendous highs and the lowest of lows. When your babies are all snug as a bug in the comfort and security of your home, all is so well. Life can not be better. There simply is no greater joy. The smells of your baby, the snuggles, the comfort. You don’t even comprehend such love, until you, yourself become a mother. To look the most innocent and precious infant in the eyes and vow to love and protect them for always – until the day you die, there is no greater love. That love is a very special bond. That love is without limits. That love is endless. That love is also unconditional.
As the years go on and the little rugrats we gave birth to grow, life comes flowing in. The bigger the kids become, for some, the problems can and do become bigger as well. There is nothing more painful to a mother than a child in distress. There is nothing more heartbreaking to a mother, than to know her child is suffering. Suffering comes in so many forms. For a mom, it does not matter the cause or severity. For some it may be medical issues. It may be your sweet precious little one is diagnosed with eyesight issues. I will never forget the moment one of my twins, Brett was only 3 years old and required an eye specialist. I recall sitting in the office all alone as she was waiting results of her testing. The doctor called me into his office to tell me “Brett is legally blind in her right eye”. To look at your baby, your perfect precious baby and not understand another word the doctor is saying, because your mind shut off and the tears just began to flow. But what happens next for a mom? We do what moms do best….we throw ourselves into whatever it will take to make it all better. For poor Brett, that involved patching her left eye (her “good” eye) so the right eye would be forced to use the muscles and work at restoring her vision. Can you imagine how difficult of a task it was? To be told your 3 year old daughter would require a patch 6-8 hours a day. And shortly~ at age 4 she was going into pre-K for 3 hours a day. When would this patching take place…Treatment went on, days went by, years passed. We only had until age 6 to restore her vision. The brain will “shut down” the doctor told me, so time is critical. Those awfully difficult days after school when the kids were all at the playground, and poor baby Brett had to wear her patch are still so vivid.
It still brings me to tears. But, with faith, and a whole lot of “good parenting”…..holding her on the couch kicking and screaming because she didn’t want to wear her patch anymore. To filling out the “patch chart” rewarding her with small treats if she would wear it……all those exhausting moments. But, we did it! Brett was able to restore her vision. PRAISE GOD.
I’ll never forget Dr. Barker telling me at her final checkup (back then for that specific treatment) “you are a good mom and deserve a pat on your back, so many parents won’t do the tough work, and their kids lose their eyesight”. I didn’t require a pat on my back, I wanted my baby healthy and ok. So anything else was not an option for me. I can’t imagine a mom (or parent for that matter) not doing everything possible to correct something within their power. It was not easy by any means, but whoever said being a mom was going to be an easy job? I’ve never seen a cuter little girl, than Brett in her round glasses. I’ve never seen a more beautiful young lady than my beauty queen Brett – age 19 now.
My brown eyed girl🧡.
A mother’s love has no obstacle too big.
Through the years of raising my 4 children; there where so many incredible memories.
1 son 💙 and 3 daughters 💛 💛 💛 along with 18 foster children, yes…. 18 bonus kids came in and out of our doors! I just yesterday found a letter from one of my “bonus kids” Miranda, that reminded me how much love I gave out. It always reminds me just how many kids don’t have a mom to love on them. How many kids are hurting and feeling the loss of their own mom. It breaks my heart. The twins have a friend Devin, a sweetheart who lost her mom while in high school. My heart hurts knowing how broken she is, still and always will be. Seeing her fb post to her mom today broke my heart all over again. The love of a mother is something that is irreplaceable. Which is why the heartbreak a mother suffers is a pain that can’t be mended.
What I would give to have the twins climbing out of their cribs all night long again. What I would give to find my daughter on the potty and because apparently there was no TP on the roll, she wiped it on the wall……(My mom gave me a case of TP that mother’s day as a joke) 🧻 lol. What I would give to have the laundry overflowing all over the floor and the calls from school saying “I forgot my lunch”…..The list goes on and on and on. A mother is everything to everyone. A mother just runs out the door without hesitation when that call comes & she is needed. A mom wears so many hats, a taxi driver, a nurse, a therapist, a heartmender……The most exhausting and underpaid role of a lifetime. The job of a mother.
“A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child”.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For all the mothers today who unfortunately can’t celebrate, my heart is with you. I have been there more times than I care to recall. A mother can hold back emotions that would knock someone else out cold. A mother is resilient and courageous and truly a warrior. To watch your child suffer, a mother suffers in silence. To watch your child break apart and not be able to fix it, or cure it or make it better is heartbreaking. A mother’s job is to fix, mend, repair….it is a natural instinct. A God given talent. But, what about when a mother can’t…..can’t fix it?
My best friend since the 1st grade Kim, lost her child, her 22 year old son Christopher to suicide this past November 29, 2020. Today is the first Mother’s Day that Kim has to feel this hole in her heart. I have been very emotional these past few weeks just thinking of her pain. Christopher’s 23rd birthday just passed on April 20th. It’s all the 1st special days for her. This is a pain no mother should ever have to endure. Yet, there are so many wonderful mothers whose hearts are just broken beyond repair. The heart of a mother can withstand so much, but the loss of her child, is unimaginable. My heart is broken for Kim. When you think you are not good enough, you didn’t love enough, you didn’t try hard enough, you should have done more of this or more of that …. if you only had done this and maybe less of that……that is all the grief talking. There is no greater mom on this planet than Kim. She loved hard, loved deep, loved steady and unconditional. She loved her son Christopher more than she loved herself…..and yet, love alone can’t save your child. I will never comprehend what Kim went through that Sunday morning, and still continues to go through. I don’t know how her heart mends from this loss. I do know that God collects every single tear we drop. And I trust God is the one holding Kim together to this day. And, it is also God who is holding Christopher in his loving arms, until Kim is reunited with him in heaven one day.
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away” Revelation 21:4
Can you vision that moment? No more tears after losing your child? No more crying? As a christian, we cling to HOPE. HOPE that we will see our loved ones again. For all the most amazing mommas out here hurting, know your hurt is felt by all who love you. Know your hurt is being prayed about by those who would willingly take a piece of your hurt ….to ease your suffering. Know that your hurt is seen, even when you appear to have it all together. Those that love you are worried about you. We are worried about your sadness, your anxiety, your depression….we are worried about the hole in your heart that seems to only grow deeper and we want to fill it with love, support and healing. Know we are so deeply sorry for your loss. Know you are not alone in your grief and we love you so very much.
Christopher will never be forgotten. We will continue to say his name, share his memories and pray for your healing.
Grief never ends..But it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith….It is the price of LOVE.
So today on this Mother’s Day, for all the new moms celebrating the joys of motherhood, I celebrate you today!! I support you! I encourage you and I want you to know ~ enjoy the moments. Don’t let the “stuff” ever come before the memories. The laundry can wait, the dishes can sit, the toys can remain scattered…squish those babies and hold them tight. They need you and only you right now. You are enough.
~ My special new moms this year, God bless you guys.
To the moms missing their moms today, I pray for you too. Losing a parent is one of the most awful losses to endure. Know you are who you are today, because of the love your mom gave to you. You will carry her in your heart always. That love is never ending.
To all the innocent kids who lost their mom, were taken from their abusive moms or whatever situation has left you without that unconditional love, my heart breaks for you. If I could hold you and tell you how amazing you are, how special you are, how loved you truly are…you are enough. And to all my bonus kids who are now mommies, I am so proud of you ❤️.
To my mom Eileen, I love you. I appreciate you and I cherish you. Thank you for all you did do, continue to do and the love you give to my children. My Nana Del 💖 my Angel. I know you’re with me, all the way in Italy.
And finally to my 4 amazing grown kids now 25, 24, 19 and 19….there are no words that will ever tell you how much you mean to me. I love each of you equally, unconditionally and forever and always. You made me a momma and that is the greatest joy in my life. The greatest gift is watching you grow and to see you happy and healthy fills my heart. When you hurt, I hurt. When you suffer, I suffer with you, often in silence. That is what us moms do….we do it best and we do it out of love. Our love is unconditional always & forever.
Happy Mother’s Day…..to all the mommas around the world 🌍. This world is a better place with our love in it.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know full well”. Psalm 139:13-14
