“So, here you are too foreign for home too foreign for here ~ Never enough for both.”
I have attempted to write this post several times, I needed time to really collect my thoughts. So, sitting on those thoughts for a bit seemed best. After being home for over 2 weeks, I have had time to reflect on our trip and some of the special moments. I hope you enjoy this post and feel a little bit of what we actual experienced.
On our very first trip back in February, we met a handful of the neighbors. Some we instantly connected with for a range of reasons. That trip was exhausting, exciting, stressful and everything in between. Plus, every other emotion you can throw in there! Leaving that 1st trip wasn’t so difficult because, I was so homesick. I felt content leaving knowing I was missing our kids and our life back home. I felt it was time. With an deep excitement about our return.
We kept in communication with a few of our neighbors over social media and whatsapp. We knew soon enough we would find ourselves back, seeing their familiar faces. This trip in June, was so much different. We spend much less time on home renovations and more time enjoying what brought us to Italy. Mike, myself and Kailee all felt an enormous connection to our village. Not the actual village, but, certain people that went from being strangers to instant family. Those people are all in our hearts. We all left a piece of our heart back in Italy. Saying “so long” this time was bitter sweet.
“Maybe you had to leave to really miss a place, maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”
I had previously written about our neighbor Giovanni asking Mike to bring some American “pork rub” when we came back. He has been the best neighbor. Always there when we had a question or needed help with the Italian way. The dinner Giovanni and his wife Allesandra threw for us on July 4th was our first glimpse of how much love we would develop for our community. That dinner we were introduced to other neighbors. It was a fun opportunity for us to celebrate July 4th, while in Italy! How thoughtful was that. A barbecue pork dinner had been in the plans with Mike and Giovanni over whatsapp texts. Giovanni was excited for us to taste his special dish, and Mike was drooling the entire flight in anticipation of eating it! I honestly didn’t even take a bite, I was so busy taking in the wonder of the entire evening.
What caught my attention most, was our other neighbor Lallo pulling from his cantina a typical farmhouse table, mismatched random chairs and a thrown tablecloth to dress it all up. The gorgeous Poggio Nativo sunset was our backdrop. The evening was everything you can imagine it was. The expression goes by the famous book and movie, “Under the Tuscan Sun.” This is only because they haven’t seen our sunsets.
So July 4th, we gathered around with both familiar and new faces. We had no idea what most conversations around the table were about, but that hardly mattered. There were friendships beginning at this table. This beautiful farmhouse table outside 2 of our neighbors homes. Delicious food, refreshing homemade wine, lots of laughs and the start of something wonderful. Little did I know, we would develop deeper connections to several new neighbors that night. A sense of family was developing right before our eyes. Without even being able to actually communicate with each other. Imagine that. It was the best night for all, where many new things were learned. A complete new culture for us and an introduction to Lallo’s “grappa” lol. We now refer to it as “moonshine.”
I knew on this trip I too wanted to host a special dinner. I would invite everyone we had met and kept in contact with over the past few months. After our July 4th dinner, we now have more neighbors to include. My guest list continued to grow. More seats around the table. These are the kind of relationships you can tell people about, but to experience it yourself ~ is truly a gift. Fortunately enough, Kailee’s friend Lauren was staying with us the week of Giovanni’s July 4th dinner. Next was my turn to host and I wanted my best friend Kim to be present. So, the date and time were set and that’s all I could think about. What my table was going to look like. Along with how blessed was I having both my daughter and my best friend present for it.
I have always loved hosting a party. It’s all about presentation and the tablescape. It’s all about the little details. Now, a dream of mine has come true. I get to set a beautiful Italian farmhouse tablescape, surrounded by all of our new friends. Crazy enough, we learned some of our neighbors had not yet met other neighbors. I knew these neighbors would all enjoy each other’s company, especially being residents in the same village. Hosting a dinner I figured would be perfect for all of these reasons. It would also give us the opportunity to thank everyone for all the assistance they’ve provided Mike and I during this process. And finally, to thank them for welcoming the crazy Americans.
I had perfected an Italian dish known as bolognese. Ok, I thought I had perfected it. It was a true “farm to table” recipe from a family vineyard in Tuscany found on youtube. I’ve made it numerous times and my family loves it. But, did I have the courage to serve it to true Italians? Would they love it as much? Yup, your Irish/Polish girl from Boston, Massachusetts didn’t even hesitate!! Bolognese is on the menu! Plus, I figured a little of Lallo’s “grappa” they’d never even remember if it wasn’t edible.
In addition to my Italian bolognese, our amazingly talented neighbor Deon (from South Africa) was going to make his “carbonara” dish…..in my kitchen! Ok, now I’m stressed! Forget cooking for the Italians, I had bigger fish to fry. Deon was coming over to prepare in our kitchen. The night was going to be one for the books! We got a head count…..18! Yes, 18. The more the merrier. Isn’t that what Italians do best. This was going to be a night to remember. I was like a little kid on Christmas Eve. I managed to compile 20 + plates (some new from IKEA) some from the second hand shop in Rome. I also stocked up on shot glasses for homemade Limoncello, that another neighbor Cristina was bringing…..even though I was told I pronounce it like an American.
Off to the grocery store, bakery, plant stand (for fresh plants for my tablescape) what am I forgetting? Oh yes, the huge propane tank. God forbid we run out of propane with 18 guests and Deon’s carbonara going on the stove! Mike, Kim and myself ventured out to check everything from my “to get list”. We then literally smooshed ourselves back into the Fiat without room to spare! Protect the cannolis was the mission. Before we headed back, we managed to squeeze in a trip to the Abbey. A quick cappuccino with a view for Kim (and my approaching headache).
My goal was to be home by 2:00. We got back to the house after 2:30. Yes, later than I wanted. Ok, let the games begin! The stress was starting to surface. I got this! I can do this. Was I really crazy enough to host a dinner party, at our new Italian home, with all the Italians? Yes. Yes, I am crazy enough. We all know this. I am crazy enough to purchase a home in Italy, during a worldwide pandemic. Sight unseen. A little bolognese doesn’t scare this girl.
Ok, flowers were planted, bolognese was simmering, it’s now 5:30 pm time for quick showers. We told everyone 7:00 pm. Everything is ready to go ….right? Nope! Here comes the rain. The 4% chance of rain in the 30 day forecast was happening….now. Unbelievable. Luckily, it was a little sprinkle and the crisis #1 diverted. Thank you Jesus.
We had already purchased a large beautiful outdoor table from IKEA with chairs. We can fit 8-10 people but, not 18 lol. I had sent a text to Lallo earlier asking if we could borrow his farmhouse table for tonight’s dinner. No reply. Ok…breathe…..6:30 pm comes quickly. I realize I sent the text to the wrong person. The text got sent to person we had contacted to perform work at the house (that we never actually hired) and NOT Lallo. Omg. Here comes my migraine. How rude am I, I never invited him to our dinner that I asked him to bring his table lol.
Luckily, I figured out my error and Lallo saved the day. The table was brought over, including the missing chairs we needed. Crisis #2 diverted. All I’m thinking about now is my perfect tablescape. Let me decorate!!! I wanted to wow my new neighbors with a little bit of Kerri’s decorating. Well, there was literally no time for that lol. It’s now 6:45 pm and all hands are on deck. Deon, Marianne, Lallo, Giovanni and Alessandra were over a little early and we all flipped my material over the tables, set the plates and place settings, lit the candles and ok….quick turn around….smile…..here come the Italians lol.
Watching Lallo (our almost 70 yr old neighbor) help set my tables ……. priceless.
The food was served, Marianne (Deon’s beautiful wife) and I cut the bread in the kitchen. Sweating. “We can do HARD things” she chants lol. Between the bolognese and carbonara we pulled it off! Others made dishes and my table was full of deliciousness. We flipping pulled it off. It was simply perfect. Happy hearts and happy bellies. The bottles of wine, the grappa and the sunsetting. The white lights strung above, the sound of Italian conversations between the few of us speaking English was harmony to my ears. I truly was holding back tears sitting outside our Italian dream home. Surrounded by the most special new people in our lives. This is the stuff you see in the movies.
I knew I had to somehow express how I felt, what my heart was feeling. I enlisted the help of my neighbor Lida (from South Africa). Lida speaks excellent Italian and English with the most envious accent. I simply adore her, we all do. Luckily, I don’t drink much at all. If I did have a full glass of wine, I would’ve been a balling baby. I prepared a little thank you to read to our guests. I stood up and took a quick look around my table. I tried to compose myself and not sound like an American idiot.
I first saw the face of my daughter, Kailee. She is in love with Italy. So excited to be back here finally, in her own home. Soaking it all in and the smile in her heart was visible. I saw the face of my best friend Kim sitting next to Kailee. She looked relaxed and content, for just that moment. She was here with me, even with her broken heart. She was sitting at my table. My oldest & bestest friend in the entire world, since age 6. Sitting here with me and all of our new friends. We were together. To have that combination in your life is truly a blessing. I saw Giovanni and his precious wife Alessandra, who I simply adore. She speaks zero English – I speak zero Italian, but, there is no barrier. They were one of the first neighbors to introduce themselves to us, and they quickly became our best friends. I saw Luciano, our neighbor across from us. We just met on this trip. He is truly special. A man with many gifts, cooking, planting, musical talent and his pure kindness. I saw our new friends Salvatore, his wife Gulia and our new neighbor Cristina. I saw my favorite people, Deon and his wife Marianne. They share this new experience with us, of owning a home in Italy and not speaking the language. We relate to google translate mishaps and IKEA shopping trips. They “get us” and we “get them”. I saw Deon’s beautiful daughter, Lida and her husband Stephano and their sweetest little baby boy, my nephew Matteo. (Yes, I am Auntie Kerri) and it melts my heart. I cherish that friendship. I see Lallo…..how do I even tell you about Lallo. We officially met Lallo the day we arrived, he was installing our new front door. No words were spoken. A true craftsman, with skilled hands and a tremendous heart. He speaks no english…but there is a bond. A very special bond. As he continuously fills Mike’s glass with more of his “grappa” I motion to Lallo as if to say “I got my eyes on you… and your grappa” lol. We both laugh and he fills Mike’s glass anyway. He gives the most genuine hugs. The kind of hug that love gets squished in with. He and Mike really connected. Maybe it was over his “grappa” or just their work ethic. Two really decent guys who live 5000 miles away apart with 20 yrs in between.
Then, I see my Smartie sitting next to me. My go along with ALL my crazy dreams, partner in crime, handyman, fixer upper, I can do ALL things, strong, patient, hardworking honey, who definitely gets louder drinking Lallo’s grappa. My Smartie who has never said “grace” until twice now in Italy! My Smartie who annoys the living crap out of me on a daily basis, especially when we’re together for 30+ days in Italy. My Smartie who brings out the worst in me, when HE is driving in Italy and I’m ready to get out of the car. My Smartie, the keeper of the stars who brought him to us and I love him more than life itself. I saw this new life we created, together. I saw all of these beautiful people with us and I just wanted to cry. They were tears of joy. We are not those people, Mike and I. WE bought the house in Italy. It’s still a dream.
I thanked them for all coming tonight. I thanked them for welcoming us to their village. I thanked them for being patient with us while we try to learn their language. I told them how they were once strangers, who became our neighbors and now we are blessed to call them friends. We love them all like family. Giovanni translated and the shaking of heads and warm smiles told me it was all mutual. It was understood. All of it. The admiration, the love and acceptance. The tears in Lallo’s eyes were priceless. We are home. This is now home.
I couldn’t help but feel my dad with me. As I stood there outside of our new Italian home, attached to the ancient castle wall in awe. Our contract papers were signed on Veteran’s day….the home in a village with a patron saint, St. Michael (my dad’s name). I knew I truly had the help of my guardian angel in placing us here. The new friend we all now know and love, Deon, reminds all of us of my dad. All of these little things, these special little things make it feel right. This little perfect Italian village. A village with the most special people. People we get to call our friends. Something really changed in our hearts that night. We all felt it. It was pure, it was genuine. It was knowing your company and presence meant the world to those who can hardly communicate with you (without google translate, Giovanni, Lida or Stephano lol). However, that doesn’t matter. The genuine embrace, the warm smile, the mutual laughs. It’s all something you can’t describe. You have to feel it. You have to experience it. You have to have a seat at our table. I really hope someday you will.
“I am all the places in which I’ve left my heart.”
My heart swelled, everyone that knows me, knows how emotional I get. I was quickly overcome with all the feels. The need to bring the rest of our kids; our son Michael & his fiance MarySloan, our twin daughter’s Ashtyn and Brett and Brett’s bf Chris home. Home to Italy. Lallo told us to bring more people to his village. I told him we have 5 more coming lol. I wish I could bring all of our loved ones with us. To experience what we now know is here. This simple way of life. To stop and smell the flowers. To sit with your neighbor, on a hot summer’s day sharing homemade “Italian ice”. Even in the 90 degree heat, he is home preparing it for us. He speaks very little English, but his love of American rock and guitarists bring him and Mike closer together. He sits with us and plays his guitar. Thank you Luciano. That simple gesture brought tears to my eyes. My Grampa was my best friend until the day he passed. His favorite treat on a hot summer’s day was italian ice. I felt him close, I felt him often on this trip.
“I’ll look back on this and smile because it was LIFE and I decided to live it.”
The love from above was felt. The blessings from above are there. This has been the most beautiful gift our family could receive. We’ve gone through a very tough season the past 6+ years of our lives. The storm seemed to rage on forever. Our family was hurting. I never lost hope and I never lost faith. THIS is our beauty for ashes. This is our gift. This is our gift back to our children and then their children. This happiness we can share with friends and family. To simply open our home in Italy and allow everyone to feel this. This experience we can give to our children. A place they can always come “home” to. A place filled with people that will wait for our return, as eager as we are to get there. Our village 5000 miles away from home….A little village called Poggio Nativo has half of our hearts. I think everyone deserves to experience such joy in their lives. Simple joy. It’s not about money or things. We had nothing to offer our new friends, in return they offered themselves to us. Their smiles, their embraces, their patience. Their hospitality. It’s the joy you find while sitting around a table for hours on end with friends. Enjoying delicious homemade food, sharing bottles of wine and laughs until the wee hours of morning. It’s blocking off a narrow brick street with farmhouse tables until the last “buona notte” is said. Followed by a quick walk home. This is Italy. This is “La Dolce Vita”.
July 21, 2021 was the best night ever. Even Camilla was feeling the love.
Blessed is she who has believed the Lord would fulfill HIS promises to her ~ Luke 1:45